John's bathroom

On Friday the contractor installed the toilet in our new bathroom. John was thrilled to see the gleaming white beacon when he got home. We marveled at it; we flushed it; we tried it out for size. (I must say it does have a very form-fitting seat.) We played with the lid and seat. (Without realizing it I had ordered a model with an automatically closing lid and seat. I think it might actually make John keep the lid down just for the shear novelty of it.) Later that evening I couldn’t find him or the day’s paper.

“Where are you? What are you doing?” I shouted.

“I’m in the bathroom. Reading.”

“You’re just sitting in there reading?”

“Yep. I paid nineteen thousand dollars for this bathroom, I sure as hell am going to get my money’s worth out of it!”